The Dating Mistakes Women Make

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Dating is hard. We all wish it weren’t and that, instead, open and honest communication were a lot easier to come by. There’s a lot of conflicting advice out there, with one person telling you to play the game or play hard to get and another telling you to just be honest and keep it real. It’s only natural that people are prone to make mistakes and, with that in mind, last week I listed some of the common dating mistakes that guys make based on conversations with my podcasting partner Anna, with women in my life and from researching articles on the subject. This week, I’m going to look at some of the common dating mistakes that women make, according to guys. I want to state once again for the record that I am not generalising and that this is based on conversations with guys and online research and not solely on my own opinion (so please don’t hate me for it). Your feedback is always welcome though, so please feel free to let me know if you agree or disagree.

 

WOMEN

 

Never Texting First

 

This actually came up on the first episode of the podcast and I think a lot of women would tell you that they refuse to text or call first because if the guy is interested then he should make the first move. Fair enough... but sometimes you have to make the first move because you might be dealing with a shy guy or you might give them the impression that you’re simply not interested, so he’ll avoid the embarrassment of rejection and do nothing. While I totally acknowledge that not every woman is like this, it’s a common complaint from guys and, in the spirit of equality, there should be no reason for either gender not to make the first move other than being ‘old fashioned’.

 

Never Planning A Date

 

I’m actually going to speak for myself on this one, because I’m USELESS at planning stuff. Guys really like it when a girl takes some control and, for me at least, this is especially true when it comes to planning dates and activities. From reading a Reddit post on this subject, one of the biggest bugbears for guys when planning a date is when the other person always says “I don’t mind”. Instead of being polite/indecisive/indifferent when he asks what you’d like to do, suggest something. It’ll keep him on his toes if nothing else.

 

Acting Like You Don’t Care  

 

Ahhh playing hard to get. It works both ways for guys and girls, in that if you overdo it, it will backfire. If you act disinterested too much then he’s eventually going to get fed up and turned off. Now, I’ll admit that it will probably work for a while, but if you actually like the guy then you need to end the game at some point and let him know that.

 

Getting Too Attached

 

This article kind of sums up all the conflicting advice and mixed messages that are out there when it comes to dating, because after saying that you shouldn’t play hard to get too much, I’m now also advising that you don’t come on TOO strong. Judging from what some guys have to say on this, I think the key is not to think or act in ways that suggest you’re further along in the relationship than would seem reasonable. If you start talking about meeting parents or planning your wedding on date number two, there’s a good chance you’ll scare him off. It’s good to be open and honest about your feelings, but if you do feel that way very early, then maybe hold onto it until you’ve had ‘the talk’ and have both decided to give it a go together.

 

Flirting With Other Guys

 

Trying to make your man jealous by showing him all the other guys that you can flirt with or get with is extremely narcissistic and sometimes dangerous. Playing two guys against each other in the hope that it will result in over-the-top romantic gestures by one or both of them is just plain childish and is much more likely to result in fights and drama instead.

 

Acting Entitled

 

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having high standards and expecting to be treated respectfully, but there’s a big difference between that and acting like a princess. Chances are you are an amazing person and any guy should treat you with love and respect, but just remember there are two people in a relationship, so don’t act in ways that display a superiority complex.

 

Using Sex For Manipulation

 

As we’ve said, two people should only ever have sex when both parties are consenting and feel comfortable with it. Now, this is a very risky one for me to write about from the point of view that I don’t want to generalise or cast aspersions unfairly, but this has proven to be a common complaint in the research that I’ve done. Sometimes guys feel that women use sex to get their way or to get what they want. All I can say is that ideally there shouldn’t be any weird conditions, like refusing sex unless a guy does A, B or C, or strategically withholding sex in an attempt to make a guy commit. Guys will see through that, even if it takes a while.

Patrick McLoughney