Flirting Through Snapchat

"Streak"

"Streak"

A long time ago, when people’s phones were at home in their halls and not in their pockets, if you wanted to flirt with someone you liked on a non face-to-face basis you’d have to ask for their phone number and ring them. That will sound terrifying to lot of people reading this and, mercifully, it doesn’t really happen a lot anymore. In 2018, if you see someone you like you don’t have to get their digits; a name is enough to find their social media accounts and add them. If they accept you, you can start messaging and if they add you (or accept your add) on Snapchat then you can now interact with them through pictures and videos and put your best flirting foot forward without ever having to dial a number. I’m not saying that this is necessarily a good thing and there’s a strong case to be made that all this digital interfacing is killing human contact and intimacy, but sadly these are the times we now live in and - as they say - you can’t change the direction of the wind, you can only adjust your sails to reach your destination. 

 

Flirting can be challenging all on its own, but flirting digitally through an app with videos and photos that disappear can be downright frustrating at times. When Snapchat first became a thing in 2013, it was largely associated with sexting and therefore looked down on by many. It stood the test of time, however, and evolved into one of the most popular social networking apps in the world. More than just pictures of boobs and willies, it’s now widely used as a platform to engage with girlfriends, boyfriends, crushes or even strangers in a flirtatious way. While it’s not without its faults, Snapchat can be a playful and creative way to get your flirt on, so here are some carefully crafted tips on flirting through Snapchat.

 

Selfies

 

Selfies aren’t for everyone, let's be honest about it. I don’t think it’s unfair to say that girls will probably find it a lot easier to send a selfie to a guy than a guy would send a selfie to a girl he liked. The experts say that sending a selfie to someone is a way of saying “Hey, I look good for you”, but in order to do that you have to believe it yourself (or not give a sh*t). There’s also an argument to be made that selfies make you seem narcissistic and rather than saying “Hey, I look good for you”, you’re actually saying “Hey look at me, I look good”. It’s a fine line and if you’re willing to go down the selfie route the best advice I could give you is to look into the camera and not at yourself. Don’t worry about angles or filters, just make sure the person is aware that you’re engaging with them and not yourself. Flirtatious selfies can be playful or seductive, but if you are being frisky then have some chill. Keep the mouse in the house and don’t go asking for nudes after five minutes.  

 

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Stories

 

There is one golden rule that you should never ever break, especially if you’re flirting with someone: don’t be that person who sends a snap privately and also adds it to your story. If you are sending flirtatious snaps to someone you like, make it crystal clear that the snap is meant for them and them only, either through a caption or accompanying message, otherwise they’re going to think (perhaps justifiably) that you’re sending the photo to a load of people in your contacts; if you put it on your story, then you’re pretty much admitting that. However, if you know the person you’re flirting with well enough then you can use your story to your advantage. If you put something on your story that only they would understand then it’s letting them, and the rest of your snap contacts, know that you’re interested in them. Think cryptic messages and inside jokes rather than “Hey everyone, I’m mad for Aoife”. That probably won’t go the way you’d want it to.

 

"Why did you save that?"

"Why did you save that?"

Slide into the DMs

 

The chat feature on Snapchat should not be treated as an alternative to texting or actual conversation. Keep your chats short and flirty and don’t use it as a way to try to get to know someone. Why? Because the text disappears and if you insist on saving everything it can make you look like you don’t trust the person or you’re going to bring up things that they said in the future. It’s grand if you're having a bit of a rant to one of your friends but, believe me, if you like someone you really don’t want to have to field the “Why did you save that” question early on.

 

Tools

 

Not that kind of tool (although I’ll come back to that), rather the kind that can help you turn a boring run-of-the-mill snap into a creative flirtatious masterpiece. The toolkit allows you to add GIFS, stickers and draw on your snap, and the many filters you’ll find by swiping across will transform you into anything from a dog to Cupid to a dancing loveheart. There’s also the maps feature that allows you to see where your crush is and who they’re with, although if you’re the obsessive type you should probably leave that one alone.

 

Don’t Spam

 

Spamming isn’t flirting, it’s just being annoying. If you’re at a concert and you’re sending fifteen videos of you singing along to the songs, expect very little to nothing in response. Same applies to rugby matches, your friend eating their lunch and so on. Don’t send multiple snaps of things they're not involved with or have no interest in.

 

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Some General Advice

 

Don’t screenshot anything frisky. The whole point of Snapchat is that the content disappears, so screenshotting can feel like a violation of trust and put the person off continuing to communicate with you. If you want to see something like that for more than a few seconds and you’ve reached a level of appropriate comfort with each other – then ask. This is one of those times when it’s not easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. And, on a similar vein, never send an unsolicited picture of your penis. Just don’t. No matter how big or impressive you think it looks, sending one without consent is inappropriate and unwanted. You need to respect and recognise people’s boundaries and realise that sometimes flirting in person is unwanted and inappropriate, and the same extends to the digital world. Also, remember that screenshots work both ways.

Patrick McLoughney